I almost feel 9 again. Listening to Fallout Boy while playing solitaire. Thinking of who and where I’ll be in 10 years time. What kind of person will I morph into. What kind of music I’ll be listening to then. What kind of people and personalities I’ll surround myself with. What kind of boys I’ll be dating. What I’ll do as a career. What’ll be my last purpose on this earth.
I can say in that area, I haven’t changed too much. I still do think about all the things I have thought about since I was 9. But now, I have filled in the blanks with sheer dreams. I may still not know exactly what I want to do but at least I have a blurry vision of what I think will make me happy and that is certainly the only thing I’m sure I want to be.
So while I listen to Fallout Boy again but this time at the age of 15, I think back to the times I was wondering where I wanted to be and now knowing I just want simplicity makes me feel a little content with the way my life is rolling on.
I want to make my family proud and make the tears, sweat and hard work worth it. I’ll make something out of myself people will die to meet. I’ll make myself something bigger than my dreams. I’ll do this all with a smile on my face. Okay let’s be realistic. Times will get hard and maybe I won’t have a smile on my face forever, but I vow to be content and grateful for everything that’ll ever happen. Things will be worth it. Things will be fine.
As for my last purpose on earth, I want to move people with how I am. I want to be remembered as a wonderful person. Not necessarily to a lot of people but moving even one person or touching someone’s heart will make my life done. It’ll complete me. It’ll give me a sense of confidence to go on in the afterlife. I may sound crazy but the feeling I get when someone really remembers me as something big that ever happened in their life, it just makes me feel so indescribable. It’ll be enough to give me the strength to go through heaven and hell. Simple.
I can say in that area, I haven’t changed too much. I still do think about all the things I have thought about since I was 9. But now, I have filled in the blanks with sheer dreams. I may still not know exactly what I want to do but at least I have a blurry vision of what I think will make me happy and that is certainly the only thing I’m sure I want to be.
So while I listen to Fallout Boy again but this time at the age of 15, I think back to the times I was wondering where I wanted to be and now knowing I just want simplicity makes me feel a little content with the way my life is rolling on.
I want to make my family proud and make the tears, sweat and hard work worth it. I’ll make something out of myself people will die to meet. I’ll make myself something bigger than my dreams. I’ll do this all with a smile on my face. Okay let’s be realistic. Times will get hard and maybe I won’t have a smile on my face forever, but I vow to be content and grateful for everything that’ll ever happen. Things will be worth it. Things will be fine.
As for my last purpose on earth, I want to move people with how I am. I want to be remembered as a wonderful person. Not necessarily to a lot of people but moving even one person or touching someone’s heart will make my life done. It’ll complete me. It’ll give me a sense of confidence to go on in the afterlife. I may sound crazy but the feeling I get when someone really remembers me as something big that ever happened in their life, it just makes me feel so indescribable. It’ll be enough to give me the strength to go through heaven and hell. Simple.
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